Temple Run [ANDROID REVIEW]

The big mobile action sensation is great for a bit of fun - if only the control issues didn't prevent me from getting my teeth into it.

What's It All About?

Action game based on that scene from Indiana Jones - you know, where he's running out of that temple - only this time it's not a big boulder and instead you're being chased by a pack of demon monkeys. 

While escaping these satanic simians, you have to dodge various obstacles. Swipe up to jump over tree roots, swipe down to slide under fallen trees, swipe left/right to turn. Tilt your phone left and right to fine aim where you are running.

As you speed away through an increasingly-cluttered environment, you can pick up bonuses which make things a bit easier. These have effects such as boosting through a section of the level or removing all obstacles.

If your reflexes are about you, there is the opportunity to collect floating coins - these unlock extra characters or can improve your bonuses - and it'll take quite a few runs to earn enough to make a difference.

The levels you run through each time are randomly-generated, meaning that every run is slightly different - there's plenty of challenge and playability on offer here.

Bolting out of the temple at top speed - here's the ginger hero.

So Is It Any Good Then?

+++ Intense +++

I'm not sure exactly what it is - whether I find the crazed monkeys genuinely scary, or whether the action is just really intense - but I am really running for my life when I pick up Temple Run. The feeling of non-stop danger is really quite a motivator - when you start a game you see your explorer guy running out of the temple with the monkeys hot on his heels - and that's it. There doesn't need to be a big backstory - no need to characterise the character or the villains - just a simple task: run for your fucking life.

When I got to the youlater stages, with obstacles coming thick and fast, the pressure to keep going and beat my previous highscore meant that I was really getting into the action. I let out a loud sigh of disappointment every time I collided with a sneaky tree (so often that the neighbours must have thought it was fairly downbeat sex) - and that goes to show how successful the game is. When you unconsciously vocalise your annoyance with a game - just because you were 1000 points off your top score - then the addiction has very much set in. Well done, Temple Run.

Your path starts off simple - as shown above - but soon gets really tough.

+++ Lots of Appeal +++

The game wasn't just built for a few intense bursts though - the random landscape and real challenge on offer means that perfecting your Indy act can be a real time-sink. Beating your best score is good - beating your best distance run is another bit of fun - but upgrading the bonuses and going for that MASSIVE run is the big dream.

When you spend coins on the bonuses, you normally just get to boost a few hundred metres further or to unlock bigger coin pick-ups - but in making use of them while playing, you can turn a quick jog into a big-scoring marathon.

There's also some extra character models to unlock (and wallpapers and shit) but really it's improving the run that matters in the game - and that was my main motivator throughout. Just as it should be.

There's very little time between jumping, turning and sliding when you get to later levels -
but that's where I get stuck :-(

--- Lack of Control ---

But then at later stages in the game I found a gameplay barrier that I could not get past. When I got to about 2000 metres, the lack of sensitivity in my phone's touch screen changed from being " a bit annoying" to actually stopping me from getting any further.

The problem is this - as my phone's screen is slightly insensitive (it needs a bit of pressure in order to register a press) then to get the character to move I need to give a big, hard swipe right across the screen. At slower speeds, this isn't a problem - I just casually swipe left/right/up/down to progress. When it gets to the later stages, where you need to jump, dodge and slide a couple of times a second - then it gets to the point where I just can't make those exaggerated movements and I quickly lose.

Small nudges to jump etc. (which I have seen other people using to beat the game) just do not work on older/crapper touchscreens. Now that could be used as a reason to look for a new phone - so really, as not all phones are brand new/top-of-the-range, this should have been planned for. When you make a game for mobiles, it should suit all mobiles. 

Perhaps some extra control settings to tailor the experience for older phones (NOT the "sensitivity" setting as this only  changes the motion-sensitive controls).

Really, with some small tweaks then this would have been a near-perfect action game. As it stands, I can only get around 2,500 metres and no further - so I stopped playing. Shame.

Conclusions

Without a doubt - one of the most intense experiences on a handheld.

I accept that some of my complaints relate to issues with my phone - but as that is the hardware the game was built for the developers really should have accounted for that.

With a few tweaks to the control system - or maybe a new phone - then this could easily have kept me going for many weeks.

Feel free to post comments or contributions to improve the experience!
Any stock images in this review are subject to relevant copyrights and are kindly provided by: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.imangi.templerun&hl=en 
All game screenshots were taken in-game using a HTC Nexus One and were taken by Brighton Games Trader.

Angry Birds Space [ANDROID REVIEW]

The birds are back in town!

But sadly this extra-terrestrial adventure leaves a lot to be desired.

What's It All About Then?

Latest instalment of the Angry Birds franchise, launched at the end of March 2012, takes the series' usual formula of "Put bird in slingshot - Aim at pig in building - Let loose and *ka-blam*" and moves it into outer space. 


The story goes that some very mean piggies stole the nice birds' precious eggs. Ergo - kill them all and smash their homes to pieces. Capisce? 


The greater the destruction you cause - plus the fewer birds flung in order to achieve total piggie massacre - will give you a higher star rating at the end of each level. For an acceptable serial porcicide, you'll earn 1 star. If you totally demolish the place, destroying a couple of nearby piggie schools just for good measure, you'll earn the maximum of 3 stars.


The series always uses a variety of birds, and this set it unique in order to deal with the additional factors of being in space - with all the variable gravity fun that nearby asteroids (or lack thereof) may lead to. You are given a level-specific selection of birds in a particular order, which must be used to completely wipe out the level's pigs.


The types of birds used in Space are as follows:

1. RED ROUND - flies straight and does a bit of damage
2. LITTLE BLUE - after launching, another tap to the screen causes the bird to split in 3 (only causing a small amount of damage)
3. PURPLE TRIANGLE - after launching, another tap to the screen at a specific point will redirect the bird to do medium damage to that point
4. BOMB BIRDS - shaped like a bomb (weirdly) - these detonate after a few seconds (or after another tap)
5. BIG GREENS - huge but heavy birds that don't fly too far but caused massive damage if aimed correctly
6. FREEZE BIRDS  - these guys explode into a ball of ice, with all surfaces hit by the cold becoming vulnerable and brittle. Careful use of the birds that follow leads to major gravitational destruction.

There are 76 levels in total - meaning 228 stars to collect in total (at time of writing, I've collected just over 190). They are broken up into the following chapters:

1. PIG BANG - 30 introductory levels - easy basics. Showing you the ropes with set-ups involving most types of bird in easy configurations. There's a boss level at the end on the ground.
2. COLD CUTS - then there's a set of 30 tactical levels involving freeze birds and more complicated gravity systems. The boss at the end flies around and defends itself.
3. FRY ME TO THE MOON - 10 slightly more challenging levels that involve a lot of stone structures - difficult to knock down without clever use of destruction - and piggies that fly around in orbit.
4. EGGSTEROIDS - 6 bonus levels that generally pay homage to other videogames. There's a Pong level and a Space Invaders level that are both fun.  These are less of a challenge to beat - but to unlock them you need to fire at hidden black holes spread across the other campaign levels.

Later on, there are complex gravitational fields to work with.

So Is It Any Good Then?
+++ Fun New Setting +++
The new space setting is well-realised and all-in-all is pretty  good fun. The menus, birds and levels have all been tailored to fit the theme, with a lot of thought put into the graphical design and style of the game. Not a lot has changed since the last one - they've just been given a sci-fi overhaul - but each level certainly feels like it's in space.


The use of gravitational fields is brilliant - meaning that a lot of thought has to go into later levels and that there are often some less-obvious solutions to tough levels that can be found with clever/flukey "hookshots" around asteroids. Think Red Dwarf, where Lister has to block the black hole with a planet in a space-snooker-esque affair - you may sound all smart when you line it up and then look daft when your bird spins wildly around a nearby planet - but with a bit of luck it can collide in just the right way to lead to big points.


This means that every level is definitely worth a couple of playthroughs - trying out both different firing angles and different tactics - honing your skills and high scores until you've aced each and every one of them.


Special mention goes out to the bonus levels - they're all great fun and it's good to have some levels that are there for fun/variety rather than just for challenge. Mixing it up a bit was part of what made the original great - with a few simple gameplay concepts they made like 250 enjoyable levels. 

This is the Pong-themed bonus level -
not necessarily mind-blowing but quite sweet.

--- Short and Limited ---
And that leads neatly on to my first big criticism - it's too damn short! The 70 main levels are quite enjoyable and have  a good progression in difficulty and elements (static targets to begin - moving and protected targets later on). The issue is that I was just getting going at that point - expecting a whole bunch more after that and it just.... stopped.


Is this a case of "expansion pack sickness"? Are they giving us a taster of the new setting but leaving all of the content for additional, paid packages?


Therefore, the difficulty level was a bit lacking - I sort of expected there to be further challenges to play around with the gravity stuff but it just finished really early!


Even the Rio expansion pack for the original game had around 160 levels in total - and that was just made to advertise a film! Admittedly, these were released bit-by-bit too - so perhaps I just need to sit tight and wait for the rest of levels to be released.


Now I'm playing the free version - so I surely I shouldn't really complain much about the small level selection? 


Well that really doesn't make me want to pay to upgrade now, does it? 


And how can I recommend the paid version to people when it feels half-finished? Well the problems don't end at the number of levels...

In this shot, the adverts are actually preventing me from seeing the game -
 and you can't zoom out on this level either!

--- Badly Built and Lucky ---
The game also has a looooooot of issues. The screenshot above shows the big problem with the adverts - they get in the bloody way! Steve Jobs' big ugly face is constantly blocking my view - adverts for Wonga offering me cash loans (I'd imagine so that I can afford the next expansion pack).


If you could move the advert to the other side of the screen when necessary - or if they just buggered off altogether - then I'd actually be able to see what I was shooting and I'd have a lot more fun with the game.


Then there's the numerous occasions where the game actually cocks up. See below for an example of this - where the gravity is meant to topple unsteady towers but parts of it just hang in mid-air. 


So - the game prevents me from winning in a quite annoying way.


Then the next major issue is the complete opposite: that due to the gravity systems you can regularly demolish towers with flukey shots! Bounce a bird off an asteroid - it will often spin round and round until it eventually crashes into a piggie tower. Just launching your birds in random directions can sometimes lead to a 3 star score - requiring no skill whatsoever.


That's the biggest problem of them all to me - when the pig killing was taking place back on Earth, if you missed a shot then you had to start the level again. There was a very rational pattern to proceedings - only one or two angles to launch birds at in order to get the big scores. In Space, there are dozens - if not hundreds - of different angles and shot power that will win you a big highscore. I liked that you could try out complex shots around planets - I just don't like a bird I fired five minutes ago to swing back around and smash everything to pieces.


Perhaps some changes to the way the birds work in the long-term? (disappearing after a few seconds to prevent these ridiculous fluke shots).

WTF is going on with the arrow-shaped block - how is it still floating there?
You can clearly see the gravitational field all around it!

Conclusions

The game is still great fun for absolutely zero pounds - if you don't mind infuriating advertising splashed all across your screen - but in terms of substance this game falls well short of its predecessor.

If this was a space-themed expansion pack then it may have been less disappointing - as the full sequel to one of the most popular mobile games of all time then they just haven't put the effort in. A true shame.

Feel free to post comments or contributions to improve the experience!
Any stock images in this review are subject to relevant copyrights and are kindly provided by:
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/gdeheemdbabpjapkmbpiocpjinickpcl?utm_source=chrome-ntp-icon
All game screenshots were taken in-game using a HTC Nexus One and were taken by Brighton Games Trader.

DS Downloadable Games vol. 4 [DS REVIEW] [QUICK&SHORT]

What's It All About Then?

A cartoony, piratey tower defense game with a twist - you must defend against enemy pirate ships who want to steal your treasure!

+++ PROS +++

• Cheap - £1.80 on the DSi Store.
• Fairly bright and pretty - the graphics do well enough to show the action.
• Novel gameplay - the defense/offense tactics required take a little time to get used to but allow for fun, frantic gameplay.
• Nicely styled - the theme is very piratey and the weapons, music and graphics all complement this.

--- CONS ---

• Slightly poor tutorial - there's a few slides with very small text explaining what you need to do, but this is pretty hard to read.
• Slightly difficult to plan for attacks - ensuring you keep all your treasure and fight off baddies can be awkward - and takes seeing the route that the ships take a few times before you can effectively fight them off.
• Lags terribly when the screen is full - serious slowdown issues here.
• Very short - only 5 levels that will keep you going for a couple of hours at most.

What's It All About Then?

New and shiny poker and blackjack sim, with a whole bunch of game modes and really encourages you to get involved in the game.

+++ PROS +++

• Great variety of game modes - about 10 poker variations, plus blackjack.
• Lots of tournaments to try your hand at - from easy to hard - and then there's multiplayer.
• The graphics of the player avatars and environments look pretty good
• Having a customisable player profile allows you to feel engaged and keeps track of your progress well.
• Loads of achievements to aim for too (win with a straight, all-in before the river etc.) so there's some extra replay value.

--- CONS ---

• Not too cheap - £4.50 on DSi Store.
• Poor difficulty balance - the first 5 tournaments are all "super easy" and the final few are "super hard" - meant that I ended up playing the lower-level games for a bit of fun.

What's It All About Then?

Point-and-click puzzle game where you must use subtle hints to progress through the many levels.

+++ PROS +++

• Cheap - £1.80 on the DSi Store.
• Around 30 levels that take a fair bit of time to get through.
• Ranging from fun little slides which take a few seconds to work out, right through to head-scratchers that require a bit more thought.

--- CONS ---

• Doubt that you'll want to play through this more than once - when you have finished the puzzles there is virtually no replay value.
• Some levels are just a pain in the arse. Not requiring any logic or cunning, a few puzzles need you to simply "click in the right order" and really can only be found through trial-and-error.
• The game keeps track of your clicks - so tapping frantically to work out an obnoxious puzzle will add to your counter (and probably raise your blood pressure too).

What's It All About Then?

Brick breaker game where you guide a ball bouncing around 1001 levels of destructible scenery.

+++ PROS +++

• Cheap - £1.80 on the DSi Store.
• There really is 1001 levels.
• Power-ups and bonuses keep things varied for a while.
• 3D graphics on the DS look pretty good - not spectacular but definitely nice to watch smashing around the place.

--- CONS ---

• All the levels are pretty samey - the game has 4 themes (forest, candy, Greek and stone age) which determine the objects you'll smash - but you'll always smash the same few objects.
• Slightly overwhelming! Having 1001 repetitive levels is a bit intimidating - it didn't make me want to get through all of them.
• If you like bouncing balls to smash things - you'll be in Heaven. If you prefer something more fun - this may get boring quickly.

Feel free to post comments or contributions to improve the experience!

Any images in this review are subject to relevant copyrights and are kindly provided by: 
http://www.nintendo.co.uk/NOE/en_GB/games/dsiware/pirates_assault_49336.html
http://www.nintendo.co.uk/NOE/en_GB/games/dsiware/1st_class_poker__blackjack_49093.html
http://www.nintendo.co.uk/NOE/en_GB/games/dsiware/hints_hunter_49170.html

http://www.nintendo.co.uk/NOE/en_GB/games/dsiware/1001_blockbusters_49075.html

DS Downloadable Games vol. 3 [DS REVIEW] [QUICK&SHORT]

GAIA'S MOON

+++ PROS +++

• Simple and effective play mechanic - you press 1 button to fly upwards - press for longer to fly higher.
• Use this to swoop and dive, avoiding a weird and wonderful assortment of "enemies"
• Enemies include jumping sharks, flying dolphins, floating skulls and puffer fish. All in the same level too.
• Nice graphics serve the purpose well - although not amazing
• 2 player mode too - one uses the top screen and the other uses the bottom screen. This can get a little confusing though
• Cheap - only £1.80 on DSi Store
• Infuriatingly catchy soundtrack will stay in your head for weeks.

--- CONS ---

• Your flight path to avoid some of the enemies can be a bit ambiguous - sometimes it seems only flying through the bottom of one enemy will get you through
• Hard to master - takes at least half an hour to get through the first 5 levels safely - and when you lose you have to start right from the beginning
• Infuriatingly catchy soundtrack will stay in your head for weeks.

3 HEROES - CRYSTAL SOUL

+++ PROS +++

• Bright and colourful strategy puzzler game
• On the surface is just a "Match-3" game but actually has some deeper mechanics to work out
• Novel gameplay and design - you must move your character around a grid map by attacking nearby enemies. When you attack, you will also defeat all adjacent enemies of the same colour and earn colour points.
• By defeating the enemies in the right order - and choosing the right colours to go for at the right times - you can earn enough points to pull off special moves and get even bigger bonuses and treasures.
• Enough levels to play through with 3 different (albeit fairly similar) characters - so you can kill a few hours with this. 

--- CONS ---

• Not too cheap for what you get - £4.50 on DSi Store
• Claims to have "RPG elements". In reality it just uses some basic RPG philosophy, fight for as long as you can until your health goes down - then run and heal/save
• Not really any incentive for playing through the levels - there is just the satisfaction of unlocking all the levels but certainly not what you'd expect from an "RPG puzzler"

GO SERIES - UNDEAD STORM

+++ PROS +++

• Basic zombie shooter with plenty of charm and appeal
• Cheap - only £1.80 on DSi Store
• 3 levels and 3 difficulty settings for each - and it is worth giving each of them a go!
• Easy is good for a laugh, just take some rage out on some zombies
• Hard is a challenge - you'll either need to have lightning reflexes or employ clever use of weaponry
• Nice variety of weapons - shotguns, machine guns, grenades, mines, molotovs, melee 
• And a diverse bunch of enemies to use them on!
• 4 characters to choose from - each with their own dialogue
• Plenty of choice for how to approach levels too - do you search for survivors to help you or just go commando?
• LOADS of medals to unlock - sort of like achievements on Xbox or trophies on PS3 - these are awarded for things like level completes or not using special weapons or taking no damage

--- CONS ---

• Simplistic graphics can make it difficult to see what exactly is going on when the screen fills up with baddies and explosions
• Sometimes the end-level bosses can wipe out everyone in your party very quickly - leading to some distressing game overs
• Sometimes the zombies can be a bit....er..... braindead? They just stand there and wait for you to kill them. Not that I'm complaining that much or anything....

If you're in the market for a Nintendo DS - and 45 incredible games to go with it -

then check out my eBay auction.

Ends Sunday 8th April at 8PM BST!

LINK TO THE AUCTION >>>> HERE

Feel free to post comments or contributions to improve the experience!
Any images in this review are subject to relevant copyrights and are kindly provided by:
http://www.nintendo.co.uk/NOE/en_GB/games/dsiware/gaiaacutes_moon_47538.html
http://www.nintendo.co.uk/NOE/en_GB/games/dsiware/3_heroes_crystal_soul_47787.html
http://www.nintendo.co.uk/NOE/en_GB/games/dsiware/go_series_undead_storm_47758.html

Gotham City Impostors [SPECIAL]

This week my "mini" review is going to be slightly different. 

This week I am going to tell you a story. 

It's a wonderful adventure, with early excitement, community spirit, communication with game developers and deep, painful heartache.

I will begin at the beginning, for where better to begin a story which starts at the beginning?

How It All Began

About 2 months ago, as part of the Playstation Plus membership, Monolith and WB Games released their beta version of Gotham City Impostors. For non-gaming-geeks out there, this means a near-complete test version that is released for players to try out and then the developers can identify any problems in order to get them fixed before the full release.

The game itself was incredible - the idea here being that Batman and the Joker have fled Gotham and in their place thousands of wannabe superheroes and villains have leapt into action and are now battling it out for supremacy on Gotham's streets. They aren't the real deal however, so the well-fitting Batman costume and the tailor-made Joker outfit aren't present - instead there's bat symbols on cardboard cut-outs and purple tank tops serving as Joker gear. 

As a game, this works like a multiplayer first person shooter - you have other players on your team and you go round shooting the opposing team to win points which will help you win the match. You are randomly put in the Bats or Jokers team, and this doesn't make a difference as you don't have any loyalty to either - you're just a wannabe who wants to fight injustice/cause mayhem (whatever's on offer that day). Before battle, you select the set of weapons, skills, equipment, character types and outfits which suit your play style - and there are plenty of play styles to choose from:

• You can be a thin, stealthy sniper who uses ninja gas to turn invisible. 
• You can be a nimble rollerskater, leaping around the place at top speed and greeting enemies with a sudden shotgun handshake. 
• You can be an enormous brute stalking the town with body armour and a rocket launcher. 
• Or if you like you can be a healer, shouting into a megaphone to revive team players and turn the tables of battle. 

And the best part of it all? You can do it wearing nothing but underpants.

By completing battles you earn experience points, costume points and loadout unlocks. Experience gains you levels and earns you more loadout unlocks, which means more customisable weapons, gadgets and skills. Costume points are spent to gain new items of clothing to kit your Bats and Jokers out with.

There are also a whole bunch of challenges, like killing 50 enemies with the shotgun, or rollerskating for 10 kilometres. These have massive experience boosts associated with them, so it really is worth spending hours razzing around the map like a squirrel.

Email Number 1

So after spending around 10 hours playing the beta version, I go to the main menu to be greeted with a message:

"Profile Corrupt - Save Data may be Invalid"

Huh. Okay.... so what does that mean? It meant that all of my progress was wiped out. All the experience, all the costumes, all the hours put in were lost for no good reason.

So I decided to do the right thing and emailed the support team to let them know of the issue - this is a beta after all so they need to be informed in order to get it sorted. I didn't hear back from them so carried on playing for a while - the game was still great fun, so once they got the profile reset issue sorted then it'd be plain sailing.

Email Number 2

While playing the beta version some more, a few more serious issues started to present themselves: 

• Matches would be vastly unbalanced - like 2 low-level Bats against 6 elite Jokers. These matches would be over within minutes and were fairly boring - if you were a Bat you'd be pwned within seconds of respawning, and as a Joker it was likely that someone else had killed off all the Bats before you got there.
• Matchmaking (finding other players to play matches with) was taking longer and longer too. When I first started playing you could be in a match within 2 minutes - now it takes 5 minutes just to find a match to join.
• Every few matches, there would be some sort of connection problem where it would kick you out of a match you were playing. Again, this happened more as time went on until virtually every other match ended suddenly (and without any experience earned).

So basically, things weren't looking good. As it had been over a week since my first email, and I still had heard nothing, I decided to send another one to let them know that there were some pretty serious issues in Impostors that really needed addressing. But hey, this is the beta - they'll get this sorted out....right?

Out of Beta

After the beta trials ended, a "trial" version went up onto the Playstation Network (PSN). This was a full demonstration version of the game that was free to play for 30 minutes. I downloaded this and starting playing my free 30 minutes.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I found that I had to start a new profile (again). "OK", I thought, "It was a beta version and now it's a trial version so I can't expect to keep the same profile". So I played through those 30 minutes and once again loved it. See, this is the crucial point - the game itself is absolutely brilliant. It's fun, frantic, accessible, enjoyable, customisable - everything you want from an online FPS.

So.... I bought the full game. Yes, I know it was a risk but I gave Impostors the benefit of the doubt. £11.99 from my already dwindling bank account for a game that really should offer me weeks of fun.

Email Number 3

As the more astute of you may have gathered from the heading, buying the game only caused more trouble.

On purchasing the full game unlock, I opened the game to find an error message reading:

"Do you want to cancel your full game progress and go back to trial mode?"

Why on Earth would I (or anyone else for that matter) want to cancel a £12 purchase and go back to a time-limited trial? So I selected "NO!", at which point it took me to the Playstation Store to ask me to purchase the game again. I cancelled this and restarted the game. The game then loaded up fine and allowed me to play a few matches. "Phew!", I thought, "Thank goodness that's all over now!". Oh how wrong I was.

The next time I turned the game on, I was greeted by my old friend: 

"Profile Corrupt - Save Data may be Invalid"

Bugger. That's not good news. I'm getting tired of getting through the first few levels just so that I can unlock the basic customisation settings. This will be the third time! 


You must be able to work out that this must be a pretty good game for me to put up with this sort of crap, and when you get to play it, Gotham City Impostors really is a bloody good game. The maps are diverse and unique, each with little hiding places and open areas that are fun to explore. Due to the large range of characters and gadgets available, there is always someone to flush out the snipers, someone else who takes down big brutish demolition units well, and others who zoom around the map so fast that no-one can take them down (me - speedy body type, speed bonuses and rollerskates.... boo yah). 


So I sent the third email, to say that the issues I was facing in the beta are present in the full game. And that I was not impressed.

Other Lovely Error Messages

Other than just having corrupt data, the game has thrown back some great reasons for not letting me play the game I have paid for. Here are a few of my faves:

• Simply searching endlessly for players - the spinning "loading" icon just swirls hypnotically forever, and even refuses to let you exit sometimes.
• Better than that, the match countdown gets to "Match starts in 1 seconds" and then sits there for what feels like an eternity before it kicks you back out to the main menu.
• "No Gamespy Connection Detected - You Will Not Be Able To Play Online Games". So what part of this exclusively online multiplayer game am I meant to be playing? The offline challenge section? OK. Well that lasted all of 5 minutes. What now?
• "Connection with the server has timed out". The classic. Its use here borders on over overkill.

Now you might ask if there is some problem with my connection or hardware here - well I can say that I've had no problem with any other online multiplayer game on the PS3 and next heading bit will explain more - so read on.

Acceptance, Patch and Beyond

Warner Brothers Games and Monolith have accepted that there are some pretty serious issues going on here now - Gotham City Impostors Patch & Updates Info

In fact, I think I have installed the patch. Yes, it's only that I think it's installed the patch - my game version still shows up as v1.01 (whereas the messiah patch is due to be v1.05) however it found and installed a new update this week so I can only assume it was this newest one. I have still not received any of my coins and experience back, instead the game seems to recognise a "shadow" of my former profile - for example when displaying my progress in challenges the game will now display:

"Matches Completed Challenge #3: 63 matches out of 100"

right before displaying

"Matches Completed Challenge #3: 78 matches out of 100"

So..... it's still screwed. There might be a proper fix on the way, but it feels a loooong way off.

What's even more insulting is that there is hundreds of messages declaring the upcoming downloadable content with extra maps, weapons and unlocks.... even though we can't even use the current content at the moment! For goodness' sake - sort the game out before chucking more crap into this faulty mess of a game!

As should be obvious, I've put a lot of time and effort into Impostors and it is for that very reason that I feel so let down. There is an awesome game in here - I just don't get to play it much.

Conclusions
All in all, this is a really terrific game that has been let down by some pretty major design flaws - I mean, just take a look at the gameplay video above!

This has the potential to be online FPS of the year -

but at present it is virtually unplayable. 

However, if you get a kick out of loading screens and error messages 

then this may be the game for you!

If WB Games would just respond to my emails 

(or offer a bloody refund) then I might consider recalling the deadly ninja monkeys.
Oh well... here goes email number 4....

UPDATE! : On signing into Impostors this morning (3rd March) a message appeared telling me that I have gained 2500 costume coins and jumped 14 experience levels.

It appears they have finally restored my profile to the level it should be - over 3 weeks after first informing them of the issue. 

That said, I've been waiting to get into a match for ten minutes now - so the matchmaking problems are still ongoing. A minor victory?

Videos in this review are from Youtube and are kindly provided by: 

http://www.youtube.com/user/Iitten and http://www.youtube.com/user/coinoptv

Videos are subject to relevant copyrights.

Nintendo DS Downloadable Games [Vol. 2] [DS] [QUICK&SHORT]

Bird & Bombs

PROS:

• Cheap - only £1.80 from the DSi Store.
• Enjoyable story - you are a special forces bird sent in with your bombs to rescue the president's daughter from a house full of ghosts. It's for kids but it's still fun.
• Simple premise and controls - you only control the angle and power of your bombs in each level to bounce off the walls, ceiling and obstructions to get the bombs into the ghosts mouths, thus blowing them up.
• Good for a while - there's 50 levels to get through with bosses at key points to keep the action varied. Aiming for perfect scores will take you a fair while longer. After you beat the main story there is Story+ mode, where you have limited bombs to complete the story levels, again increasing lifespan. Finally there's Challenge mode - essentially a tough survival mode to see how many levels you can get through before you fail.

CONS:

• Sometimes annoying definition of what "going into the ghost's mouth" actually is - due to the nature of firing bombs that bounce off walls, sometimes a bomb can pass over the mouth of a ghost and not go in. On other levels, it's almost like the ghost has a magnetic mouth drawing the bomb into it.
• The more difficult levels may make you want to smash your DS onto the floor. The deflated sigh that Bird with bombs makes every time it misses is saddening - and on the tougher challenges you will find that you fail a whole lotta times before you get it just right.

Cut The Rope

PROS:

• Cheap enough - £4.50 on DSi Store.
• The idea here is that you have to cut the rope that is holding a sweet such that it falls into a worm-thingy's mouth (bit of an object-in-mouth theme going on here). That's pretty much it - only the rope will be attached to a whole bunch of stuff that will make this a lot more tricky than it sounds.
• Some pretty complex physics puzzles later on - elastic bands stretch, balloons rise and pop and gravity keeps things in check. There are around 8 distinct puzzle elements that you will need to master - and you'll need to complete them speedily if you want the best scores.
• 125 levels of increasing difficulty - with 3 stars to collect on each level. Getting 3 stars on all 125 levels is not impossible but certainly a challenge.

CONS:

• Touch controls aren't perfect - this means that the more complicated levels requiring quick, coordinated responses regularly end in failure.
• This is a casual game, admittedly, but what exactly is the motivation to play this? To feed a fairly annoying green blob. 125 times. Could of done with a bit more than that really.

The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords

PROS:

• It was free! The whole thing cost precisely zero pennies off the DS Store!
• It's a colourful affair that has all of the fun and creativity of a Zelda title.
• Great use of the touch screen for controlling the characters - using the gadgets and interacting with the environments works well.
• Excellent multi-player and online features - playing with other gamers to fight through dungeons and earn the most treasure is enjoyable and rewarding.

CONS:

• Not quite a fully-fledged Zelda. There's a lot on offer here - and I can't really complain because it's free - but although it will keep you going for a few hours it isn't as ridiculously enormous as a usual Zelda title.
• More than once I have had level elements not work - usually in online games. This means that you can't go any further and the level timer ticks on regardless. Restarting the level normally sorts it out but it's still a pain when it happens.
• Possibly not available now to download - can't see whether it is available to purchase now that the free download period is over.

Images on this review are copyright of Nintendo and can be found at:
http://www.nintendo.co.uk/NOE/en_GB/games/dsiware/bird__bombs_16120.html
http://www.nintendo.co.uk/NOE/en_GB/games/dsiware/cut_the_rope_44901.html
http://www.nintendo.co.uk/NOE/en_GB/games/dsiware/the_legend_of_zelda_four_swords_anniversary_edition_44936.html